MODEMHEAD eddy vasile EddyVasile@aol.com Eek is a retard and he knows it. He knows it beca

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MODEMHEAD eddy vasile EddyVasile@aol.com Eek is a retard and he knows it. He knows it because kids have been calling him that for about 27 years now. They also call him Eek because making that shrill sound is all the speech he's capable of. His alcoholic parents don't call him anything. They just lock him in the house and let him watch TV. Used to be they allowed him to play with the kids outside. Actually, the kids played with him. Threw him in the open sewer. Bounced him around while screaming "Eek.. eek eek." They don't let him out anymore though because kids now throw rocks at him and they're afraid he might get hurt and they'd lose his welfare check. He remembers being tested one time. They said that he had the makings of a "Savant Idiot" but they didn't know for what just yet. That didn't impress his parents much. His old man had said "better a retard than an idiot, at least he brings in that welfare check." So Eek never really went to school nor did he learn how to talk. Although he really enjoyed hearing people talk. TV was okay. But he liked to hear people talk to him even better. There was one easy way to coax them into doing that. He would call random phone numbers. Some would hang-up after several hellos. He wouldn't bother them again. Others would scream obscenities and promise great bodily harm once they got their hands on him. He didn't mind. At least they talked to him. He dialed the first three numbers carefully. They had to be like the ones written at the bottom of his dial. He found out that his old man could tell he was fooling around with the phone just by looking at a piece of paper named a "damned bill." He didn't care for beatings so he quickly learned that numbers with the first three digits like his were not detected by his father. The next four were easy. He just pushed the buttons at random. This person certainly was different. He or she picked it up right after the first ring. What followed made Eek hang up real quick. Instead of speaking, this person whistled at him in a real high pitch immediately after picking up. Eek didn't want trouble but he just had to try this person again. So he dialed the number again and she (because he envisioned her female) picked up on the first ring again and started to whistle at him. This time he didn't hang up. Actually he kind of liked the high pitch sound. Eek responded with the same sound. She changed her pitch and he followed suit. Pretty soon Eek realized that she was actually trying to talk to him in her language and that made him ecstatic. She let him try to talk to her for about half hour and then cut him off. When he called again she hung up right after finding out that it was him. He tried again the next day after his parents left and she spoke with him for another half hour. Now for the first time he actually understood something. Right before she hung up she had said "sorry Eek.. you're out of time." He was in business now. Next day when he called he told her in her own language that his name was really Danny. She told him that she understood. So Danny started to tell her about himself. But she didn't know how to deal with him. She kept interrupting in order to offer only a few choices to talk about. But that turned out to be the best thing yet because after trying a couple of choices he found one where she could just go on forever with things that other people like Danny had told her. He was surprised to find out that a lot of people spoke this whistling language but they only spoke it on the phone. And all of them would call Jennys Board (that was her name) and leave messages for one another through her. Danny had never been so happy in his life. He had mastered this language called Modem really well and he was conversing daily with dozens of friends. Somehow Jennys Board was able to take messages but also hook up two or more Modem speakers together. He liked that very much. One of his new friends who was calling himself The Ferret told him that there were hundreds of people like Jennys Board. There was no boundary to his joy when he found out that it was true. He collected dozens of numbers and plunged into a new life. His knowledge of Modem and of the world was growing at an incredible pace. Before long, Jennys Board was nothing but a memory. There were a lot of entities out there related to Jennys. Some shared the "Board" name and some did not. Yet they were family. Some of these Boards knew incredible games he could play on the phone but most of them kept them stored. He could ask for them and play later in his head. Some Modem entities were not part of the Board family. They were Banks, Universities, Business, Police, you name it. Some were boring but some were very challenging. Most required some kind of guessing game before allowing him to the very core of their heart. They called it the USERID game. It was tough at first but his expanding mind was now able to coax them into giving in after a few exchanges. It was now obvious to Danny that he had to leave home. He craved more and more interaction with the Modem world and his abusive parents were in the way. He had learned various ways of getting money. There were people willing to give it to him for a boring Modem interaction named "telecommuting." It involved performing various number tricks according to their strict rules. As reward, they would send money straight to a bank account he had created as a game. Or he could simply ask the banks to send it there but that made him feel somewhat guilty. There were Modems that offered homes, pizza, toys and all kinds of other services. So, one evening after an unusually harsh beating from his father for a long call to a Board with eleven digits, Danny called a Police Modem, gave him the descriptions of his parents, the address and told him that they were unusually evil and dangerous. After the squad cars left, Danny packed some food and hobbled to the address he had secured as a home from a Rental Board with money exchanged by "ETF." He no longer tried to produce the barking like speech that non Modem people used. His brain moved Modem speech abilities with a vengeance in areas that had been vacant until now. His craving for interaction denied for 27 years increased his abilities geometrically. He now had several phone lines and conducted hundreds of sessions daily. By using the "Electronic Transfer of Funds" interaction, he could get just about anything TV people did. But he still craved new and challenging interaction. And one day he found a new Modem entity that promised great changes in his life. His new discovery was a member of a network called "The National Strategic Computer Network." These Modems were definitely no Boards. They were very secretive and very much unlike anyone else. The kind of games they played challenged him for months on end. Even the UserId game was quite different. One of his early interaction attempts had caused a visit from some very inquisitive Police types. They searched the place quite thoroughly for something named a computer. They had even enlisted the help of the Phone Company and the fact that no computer was found left everyone very puzzled. Unwilling to jeopardize his sole reason for living, Danny moved again, but this time he covered his trail quite thoroughly. The interaction with the NSCN Modems was a challenge. Simple phone calls just didn't cut it. There were satellites and networks and passwords do deal with. There was also an opponent network in this game. Its members were quite different but the basic idea was the same. The difficulties encountered in the pursuit of interaction with these networks enhanced Danny's mind in quantum leaps. These entities were incredibly powerful not just through their interaction and game playing abilities, but when probed deeply they showed Danny that they controlled the fate of the world by harnessing immense weapons of destruction. But after two years of intense interaction Danny had mastered these Modems very well. Now he was able to blend with these huge entities acting as a part of them, going about as an integral part of the health of the Network, totally undetected by those who serviced the Modems. And since he hated the notion that those who thought were in control might decide to lob at each other the instruments of destruction that were driven by the Network, Danny insured that none of them would really work for as long as he lived. Yup, he decided that he really enjoyed the world as it was and he started everyday by moving things around in all the Networks in such a manner that the callers who thought were in control would never get wise to the fact that they were controlling duds. And things would stay that way for as long as Danny was alive. After that, he didn't really care. But for now, he wanted to live a long time with his new identity: Dannys Board. Because he now likes to relax and answer calls after screwing with the Networks. He even called his long forgotten friend, Jennys Board to leave one of his many numbers there for other Modem people to get in touch with him. Look around, you may find him.

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